Making a Start

A new year is somehow supposed to signal a re-start in life where you jump into it with enthusiasm and a new found energy that you magically pick up as the clock strikes midnight on New Year’s Eve. Well, I am not sure this is the reality for many of us. I just managed to pack away the Christmas tree yesterday and the 2020 wall planner is up but not exactly planned; the desk got cleaned but could already do with another de-cluttering session. It’s been a slow time but I think it needed to be and maybe that is okay.

While I have been pottering away in January on some admin tasks, it’s now time to think about creating a new body of work. I know some artists who say the work comes easily for them. For me, not so. While I love nothing more than to paint, I spend way too long deliberating over what to paint next. Drawing is hard, self doubt sets in and I wonder if I can ever make another artwork that I will feel proud of and want to share. Procrastination is one of my greatest talents - I had a lecturer way back who used to joke about needing to put a bomb under me and perhaps not much has changed.

But maybe for me, it just needs to take time. As hours and days rush past me, I am seeking ways to slow it down. Taking time to notice details helps and there is so much beauty to be found in the often overlooked everyday things that surround us.

When I get stuck, I will often flick through pages of old sketches - nothing developed or finished and sometimes just a few lines or colours on a page but there will always be something there to pursue. And so I begin, with more doodles, sometimes some colours and re-drawing old ideas. Sometimes even the new page of lines don’t lead anywhere significant but it’s a small step or in many ways a big leap forward as beginning is often the hardest part.

And sometimes I need to throw out the planning and just do something with no expectations. These lines began as a doodle of leaves. I had found a small primed wood panel when I was cleaning out a shelf and just decided to draw freehand on it and colour in with pencil and marker. For someone who loves to work out every colour and line before I start the final image, it is hard to work this way. But I had fun making this little piece and it’s a start.